Bride and Bridesmaids

How to Not Become Overwhelmed by Planning a Wedding

First things first—congratulations on your engagement! You’re about to dive headfirst into a year or more of whirlwind wedding stress, planning, budgeting, and probably more headaches than you can count. You’ll be visiting venues, cake tasting, choosing your vendors, picking a theme, coming up with a guest list, and much, much more during this busy time.

So our second bit of advice? Don’t panic. When you book your wedding with Melhorn Manor, you can take comfort in knowing you’re in the hands of the professionals. We hope that our beautiful and peaceful wedding venue—located in the heart of rural Lancaster County—will relieve your wedding anxiety and help ease the stress that comes with planning a wedding.

To help out, we’ve put together a few tips and tricks for getting rid of some of that all-too-familiar wedding stress. Just remember—you’ve got this, and we’re here to help you every step of the way.

Setting Up the Initial Plan Guidelines

As exciting as this process is, we suggest you pump the brakes before you start making phone calls and setting dates. Planning a wedding takes time, patience, and maybe a little bit of wine to help you get through it all. With that said, wedding planning checklists can become your best friend, so we hope some of these suggestions will help out.

Create a Budget

The most painful part of any wedding is likely the part where you have to pay for everything. No one likes spending large amounts of money, but when you want to bring your closest friends and family together for a celebration, it’s a necessity. The critical thing to remember is that you don’t want to put yourself in considerable debt just for the sake of a celebration.

Sit down with your partner and take the time to go over your budget, how much you want to spend, and what the most important aspects are to each of you for the big day. It may seem like a minor detail, but keeping within budget limits will cause much less wedding stress for you and your loved ones when you already know how much you’ll be spending.

Work Out Your Timeline

When it comes to a timeline, we realize that this can mean any breadth of time—it can be for the next year, month-by-month, weekly, or even the timeline for only the big day. Keeping your wedding anxiety at a minimum may depend on whether or not you’re the type of person who stresses about meeting deadlines or not. If lists make you more anxious, do only the minimum, so you don’t set yourself up for stressful failure.

If you at least have a list of the big things you need to do (book your venue, order flowers, hire a photographer, etc.) and their “due dates,” you should be set. As your wedding date gets closer, type out a rough, hourly timeline for the big day. Your vendors will likely ask for a timeline anyway, so being one step ahead is just another thing to mark off on your wedding planning checklist!

Start the Guest List

Before you put money down on anything, we suggest that you have an approximate headcount for guests that you plan on inviting. A headcount may seem irrelevant, but you don’t want to book a venue that only has a capacity of 100 people, and then have 200 people on the guest list. Not only can this stress out venues and vendors, but you may also have to find a different venue at the last minute.

Here at Melhorn Manor, our barn is the perfect size for weddings of 30 to 300 people. With two indoor ceremony spaces that are fully climate-controlled, you can rest assured your wedding guests will remain comfortable throughout the event.

Consider Hiring a Wedding Planner

Is the wedding anxiety kicking into high gear just from reading this post? Are all of the details zooming around in your brain feeling a tad overwhelming? That’s okay, and it’s completely normal—you’re allowed to feel this way! The best part is that you don’t have to handle all of this wedding stress by yourself. In fact, you can even hire someone to help you with the entire wedding planning process if you need to.

When the stress seems like too much, it may be time to consider hiring a wedding planner. It’s literally in their job description to handle all of that wedding stress for you and make your day come together beautifully.

Tips to Manage the Wedding Anxiety

Whether you’re a bride or groom, wedding anxiety is genuine and can cause unnecessary trouble between you and your partner. During these times, there are a few suggestions that we have to help you gain some perspective.

Don’t Be Afraid to Delegate

The best part of your wedding (other than the food), is remembering that you and your partner are going to be surrounded by friends and family who love you. Most of those people are probably more than eager to jump up at the opportunity to help out, so don’t be afraid to ask! Whether that’s in the form of putting together wedding favors or simply grabbing a drink to help you de-stress, delegating tasks to loved ones is extremely helpful in reducing that wedding stress.

Don’t Be Afraid to Say “No”

It may come as a shock to you (especially after reading the last section), but sometimes the most stressful part of planning a wedding can actually come from people trying to help too much. We see this all the time—brides and grooms have friends and family trying to help out or offer suggestions, but it just becomes completely overwhelming. The key to bypassing this? Just say “no.” The day is about you and your partner, not about what friends or family members want. Do what makes you happy.

Allow Yourself to Catch Your Breath

Saying “no” may cause tempers to rise, or maybe everything is happening way too fast for you to keep track of. In fact, according to a survey conducted by Zola, 86 percent of 500 surveyed couples said they suffered from more than three stress-induced symptoms while planning a wedding.

Instead of literally having your hair fall out from stress, take the time to walk away and catch your breath. This could be as simple as finding a quiet room to meditate in and clear your head, or taking a day trip with your partner to get away. Do whatever works best for you and your partner.

Go On a Date

Speaking of your partner, we find that sometimes couples tend to feel “distant” from each other when planning a wedding, and that’s the last thing you want. It’s important to remember that you guys are a team, so taking a night off to have a little “date night” may be precisely what both of you need. The date doesn’t need to be elaborate, but make sure that you take the time to remind each other why you’re going through all of this crazy wedding stress in the first place. Go out to dinner, see a movie, order Chinese, watch Netflix—whatever works for both of you!

Finally, Remember that at the End of the Day, You’re Still Married

At Melhorn Manor, we see dozens of weddings and couples come through our venue every year. And do you know what we say to each one? Don’t let the small things ruin your day.

The cake could topple over, rain might ruin your hair, bridesmaids could be fighting, or grandma maybe spilled a cocktail on your suit, but none of that truly matters. At the end of the day, you’re still going to be married to the love of your life and starting a brand new chapter together. In 20 years, you won’t remember all the little mishaps; you’ll only be thinking about how happy the day made you.

We know that part of the happiness of the big day is making sure you have a venue that goes above and beyond your expectations. That’s where we come in.

Melhorn Manor is here to provide you with an elegant and affordable Lancaster County wedding location. With the historic charm of our buildings and barns, original 1800 and 1900s architectural elements, and all of the modern amenities you could need, we promise our refined property is the right pick for you. Contact us today to schedule a tour—we can’t wait to meet you!